Equal balance of happiness and sadness.
Despite being tired, we still managed to take a couple of pictures. Understatement of the year, we took more than just a couple of pictures. Who’s missing is a fun-sized girl with a voice that sounds somewhat cartoon-ish.
Mothers’ Day is coming up. I don’t know what to get for her. I kept telling myself that I should do something more for her. But what? Weekends are here. Time flies really fast. Looking forward to another week to see the people whom I care about, those are the people who make me smile and laugh.
Something I realised, when I’m comfortable with someone, I tend to do crazy things, laugh like a guy and make weird faces in front of him or her. Life’s too short.
Everyone seems to know what they want to be in the future, what they want to do when they grow up. They have it all figured out, whereas for me, I don’t know what I want. That’s not good.
Before I took my O levels, the question of “Which course you want to go into?” has been frequently asked and I would say “When the time comes, I’ll think about it.” The harsh thing about delaying my decision will affect me in the long run. I delayed, thinking that it would be best for me not to think about it. Settle the issues I have now and deal with it later. It made me indescive and always unsure of what I want. What do I want? Good question. The answer will come to me sooner or later, forcing myself to answer my own question will do me no good. I do have to change this mindset though.
Today’s RJ is making me think really hard. A simple question but I have yet to think of an answer for it. I wish I was this articulate while doing presentations in front of my facilitators. These days, I kept on thinking that whatever I do isn’t good enough. This feeling, shall pass. Eventually. Tomorrow’s another new day and I won’t let today’s thoughts or feelings affect me.
Negative thoughts aside, I feel blessed about a lot of things. I feel blessed that even though all of us are in different schools, we are still making an effort to keep in contact and meet up with each other. My best friends are keeping me rock steady everyday, they are the ones who keep me grounded. I also feel blessed for the friends I’ve made in school, my classmates, my schoolmates. I would never go a day without smiling or laughing and I am thankful for that. Life is good. I feel good.
Throughout the years I’ve spent with them, I have always enjoyed myself. They bring me happiness and they give me comfort. I’ve spent my secondary school years with them and even though we are schooling in different places, we still make an effort to meet up with each other. Even if it’s an hour or so, we can still talk about things and do crazy things.
My best friend turned nineteen. Happy birthday to the guy who loves to tease and bully me, (sometimes it’s the other way round), you are the closest thing I have to an older brother. Be prepared for something more.
Craziness and something about communicating with aliens in today’s lesson. Madness.
Orientation might be the best thing that have ever happened to me. I never would have expected to befriend the people who were in my team. I admit, I did have my fears of being a loner and not being able to click with anyone. I take it all back. If I didn’t come to this orientation, I wouldn’t have met awesome people like them.
Throughout these three days, we got to know each other a little more, talked to each other more and enjoyed each other’s company. I laughed so hard during these three days, it’s insane. The party last night was seriously epic. Words can’t even explain how much fun I’ve had. Jumping around, screaming and dancing with my team.
And now, orientation may have almost ended (with just one more day to go), I really miss my team. They were the people I first made friends with ever since I came to republic poly. I will never forget them. I think I already miss them. Team ten <3
Many times I have wondered when I am going to update and fill my tumblr up. Always had the time to reblog pictures on my other tumblr blog but I never really had time or much to say when it comes to updating this one.
Constantly working these days. Keeps me on my toes, gives me a purpose to wake up early every single day and it makes me so exhausted. I am grateful that work is not that all tedious since I have my colleagues to make work more bearable and more worthwhile. Working will not be as fun if I didn’t work with them. Work does have it’s perks though.
This morning, it made me realize how apathetic I was when it comes to feeling a tinge of sadness. I do miss my grandparents a lot, especially my grandmother. Standing in front of their memorials made me recall the day of her funeral. It’s sad really, but it’s over. Another thing I’ve discovered about myself, I am able to deattach myself from people or things easily. I don’t know whether it’s a problem or it’s a good thing. I hate to feel upset and mull over the whole situation, feeling sorry for myself or thinking about how things should go the way it should be etc. But of course, when a certain memory pops out of nowhere or you just happen to see a familiar face, all the emotions that I’ve pushed away, deattached myself from, hits me hard. I don’t like it at all but this phase shall pass. I shall have to try to more human and try to feel more.
Today’s the start of April. I got a good feeling that it’s going to be a good one. It’s sad that I don’t really have time to make it for the upcoming camp. I hope I’m not missing out on much. Looking forward to it.
